Why hire a Pirate Magician for a Princess theme party?

Why would you hire a Pirate for a Princess theme party? It is simple, not only do I have over 100 different types of tattoos, Including Every Disney Princess, My Little Pony, Rainbow Unicorns,  Moana, Butterflies, Frozen and More, but I also give your child a magic treasure that allows them, and all their friends, to open a magic portal to their favorite characters world. Once the portal is open they can ask their favorite theme, Moana, Anna and Elsa, Wonder Women, Supergirl and so on for magical gifts (Boy themes as well). The gifts will appear out of the magic portal and be given out to all the kids. It is a truly awesome trick and one that I can present in such a way that the children really believe. This is just one of the amazing illusions I have. Add my Musical score and my entrancing storytelling skills and any theme can come true. I promise it will be the best show you will ever see or it is free. Hire me and be amazed.  I also have specially themed goodie bags for the birthday child that will match the theme of their choosing. No one is better or more generous. Why pay upwards of $375.00 for some silly 45 minute Abra Cadabra show. I am giving you 90 minutes of pure structured and fully interactive fun, all the goodie bags, full magic show,  unlimited tattoos complete with a treasure hunt,  freeze dance or Limbo.  All this for less than a mundane and cliche, Abracadabra, magic show.